Shona Sundhari

An End of Life Doula’s support is multifaceted and layered, led entirely by the wishes and needs of the dying person, their family or by someone who is in full health and would like support and guidance on organising their end of life plans.

Perhaps you know what an End of Life Doula is… maybe you’ve had the support of an End of Life Doula… maybe you’ve never heard of it.

The word Doula comes from Ancient Greek, meaning ‘woman who serves’ or ‘woman who cares’. Doulas would have been the women who were trusted in the village or community to support mothers giving birth with nurture, care, emotional encouragement.

Doulas were also the ones who would be close to the dying and the dying persons family and community. This might have included tending to the dying with emotional, spiritual and practical support; bringing funerals and rituals together. Having a Doula was something that was part of a rites of passage… someone to witness, acknowledge and be there as a companion.

Zoom forward many years, and now our death and dying has become much more institutionalised, more sterile. Less and less people are dying at home, in the comfort of their chosen clothes, lights, sounds, views, smells, and it has become more likely that people die in brightly strobe lit hospital rooms or care homes where they’d prefer not to be.

An End of Life Doula bridges the gap between medical/care professionals and the needs of the person in care. The type of support available is multifaceted and layered, and is led entirely by the wishes and needs of the dying person, their family or by someone who is in full health and would like support and guidance on organising their end of life plans. The role is diverse, dependent on the doulas skills, and the needs of the client. It is a non-medical role, and anyone can have an End of Life Doula; whatever age or health. I work with people in their home, in the hospital, care home or hospice, and have also suported people online.

I offer End of Life Doula services in Norwich and around Norfolk, and would be honoured to offer to support you and your loved one at this tender time.

Things I have done as an End of Life Doula…

🌺 Listened to thoughts, feelings and wishes about death and dying

🌺Supported people to complete their Advanced Decision paperwork, Power of Attorney forms, Advanced Statement documents

🌺Guided clients with writing out their wishes for their after death care, funeral and precious belongings

🌺Sat and listened – been alongside as a sturdy companion with whatever feelings are arising. Listening to stories, memories, fears and wishes

🌺Supported family members to find ways of listening to the wishes of their loved one during a difficult time and helping implement them in the home, hospital or care home

🌺Cleaned up the home/room and made the space beautiful with flowers, smells that my client enjoys, and bringing things close by that are special to them

🌺Acting as advocate for my client or their family within hospital or care home, ensuring their voices are respected and heard within busy systems

🌺Making food for a client’s partner or family so they can have a rest between caring for their loved one

🌺Hand massage, shoulder massage, foot massage for a client who spends most of their time in bed

🌺Reading poetry and favourite books to clients who can no longer do this

🌺Providing a listening ear for prayers, bringing candles, making space for personal spiritual practice

🌺Supported families after the death of a loved one with emotional care and practical guidance when grief and shock is high and there is paperwork and processes to follow

🌺Dressing my client after death in their chosen clothes and jewellery, respecting their wishes of how they want their body to be tended to

🌺Being there for the final breath and being a grounded source of presence for loved ones at this tender moment

The relationship you have with your Doula can last hours, days, weeks, months or years. It completely depends on your needs and wishes, and I am responsive and flexible around what it is you or your loved one need.

The best place to start is to have a phone call, share what is happening for you or your loved one and we can arrange to meet. It’s important to say that finding the right Doula for you doesn’t always happen first time, so we meet, connect and see how we feel, and if I am the right End of Life Doula for you and your loved one I am here to support, listen and guide where appropriate to bring more peace, presence and person centred care into your lives.

I charge £25 an hour for my time, and any parking charges required for my visits. Travel upto 10 miles each way is included.

 Please be in touch with me if you have any questions or would like to connect.